1. after getting emails intended for a government accountant or something like that in pennsylvania for almost two years, now someone in nantucket is doing a lot of online shopping with order confirmations sent to my email address

     
  2. seatentsina:

    recently I figured out a model to think about my energy levels, more specifically about the discordance between what I want to do and what my body can do. 

    instead of having an quantity of spoons, I compare how I’m feeling to a state of matter

    • solid is when things are good. I’m feeling great, my executive functioning is great, I have no shortage of energy, I’m in control
    • liquid is when I’m extremely low energy. when I’m moving I can keep moving, but the moment I stop, I feel like I am going to just melt into a puddle. my movements are slow, it’s like “I” am sloshing around inside of my body and it’s hard to just plain get a grip on things. 
    • gas is one of my lowest points. hardly any executive functioning, lots of dissociating/depersonalizing, it’s just really difficult to contain “myself” into a single thought/action. if I don’t concentrate enough, I feel like I’m just evaporating into the background. my body doesn’t feel like mine at all, and it’s really hard to do basic movements like walking, writing, or holding objects.
    • and then plasma will be for when I finally transcend the limitations of my corporeal form, but I haven’t quite gotten there yet.

    my baseline is usually like a Newtonian fluid - low energy and not really completely there, but I can buckle down and be productive/functional when pressured. 

    so idk. I don’t have a chronic illness, so I’m a little uncomfortable using spoon theory (even though I know the creator said it’s okay, I’d rather not), and this kind of came together in my head recently. so yeah. 

     
  3. Just gave myself a week to decide whether to leave this town and now my internet’s down

     
  4. having a really hard time eating anything that isn’t mcdonalds or greek yogurt lately

     
  5. image: Download

    Look down and am like woah nails are way longer than theyve been in a long time! Realized was bc until today jaw was too painful to bite them. Three-four days off biting, so much growth lol. Might try to stay off biting for a couple more times and paintn

    Look down and am like woah nails are way longer than theyve been in a long time! Realized was bc until today jaw was too painful to bite them. Three-four days off biting, so much growth lol. Might try to stay off biting for a couple more times and paintn

     
  6. 02:31

    Notes: 2

    ever since quitting weed i’ve found i have a lot less breathe for singing purposes

    i mean tbh i also smoked like 15 cigarettes on friday night

    (but that is an outlier #decidetonotattemptspidersgeorgjoke)

     
  7. 02:15

    Notes: 1

    having one of those

    wake up in the evening from a really long sleep after being up all night not really eating and then eat a third of a can of chickpeas and try to get motivated to make food happen and text people fishing for plans for a reason to go downtown and leave phone in kitchen on silent and get food and lie back down and not eat and then check phone 2 hours later to texts back and be like whoops i lost phone on silent in my apt hope you had fun and then be hungry and finally off the couch (i’m never sure how i suddenly get the motivation to get up? i’ll be scrolling for hours being like getupgetupgetup and then i suddenly shut my laptop and i don’t know how it happens and it feels like i’m not the one doing it) and eat ice cream and spinach and be really sleepy and try to work up the energy to make rice or heat canned soup but lie back down with to prepare and then it gets to a point where it’s like 2am and i’m exhausted and should just sleep but i don’t wanna wake up tomorrow with no ready made food and it’s not like i’m gonna make rice or soup in the morning so if i want to eat tonight or even tomorrow morning/aft i need to cook but i’m so sleepy and if i eat ill get energy and be up ill night so maybe i should try to sleep now but then i just tumbl more blahblahblah

    wow damn a more pithy of version this would have been

    having one of those too tired to do anything/am tired bc hungry days

    anyway there’s still a bit of (melted) ice cream left but im going to try to heat up soup i guess

    i say as i close my eyes

    (i opened them back up to type that)

    ok i need to make food and get it together and try to be kinda functional tomorrow i have a lot of shit to sort out in the next couple weeks and doing totally nothing while in eat infection pain hell was sort of excusable but i gotta know when to stop

     
  8. 01:26

    Notes: 4

    Reblogged from transluminescence

    transluminescence:

    humiliationisntfree:

    i was following 707 blogs and i’m like that’s 2manyblogs

    so i went to unfollow some

    i unfollowed some but mostly i’d be like oh hey yeah that blog haven’t looked at that blog in a while

    now i’m following 671 blogs and i have 18 tabs of blogs open

    i gave up on unfollowing blogs

    lol i have the same problem, have you got the xkit plugin that detects inactive blogs?

    oooh that’s smart! no, i don’t. i actually don’t use xkit or tumblr savior or anything at all

     
  9. 00:42

    Notes: 4

    i was following 707 blogs and i’m like that’s 2manyblogs

    so i went to unfollow some

    i unfollowed some but mostly i’d be like oh hey yeah that blog haven’t looked at that blog in a while

    now i’m following 671 blogs and i have 18 tabs of blogs open

    i gave up on unfollowing blogs

     
  10. image: Download

    i wonder if this would work lol

    i wonder if this would work lol